Dear Daddy

I think about you more than you know.

While I’ve known you for 30 years, I feel like I’ve only gotten to really understand you in the last few. In a way, it feels like I grew up watching you through a pair of glasses that gave me limited visibility into what your day to day was like. As a young girl, my perception of you was a hardworking man who just simply got it all done.

It appeared so black and white to me. You got up, went to work, did school pick-ups, attended all our academic and sports events, showed up for your family, repeat.

It’s like you machined through the day. Moving from one activity to the next.

As you weaved through those activities you carried the role of the leader our home. You ran the finances, you were the disciplinarian, and you maintained firm, unshakeable beliefs about things you were passionate about. You made it clear that nothing was more important than family.

I always felt like what you taught me set me apart in my formative years, but adulthood has afforded me new lenses. Marriage has revealed to me responsibilities that I was never privy to, and I’ve seen parts of you that I’ve never seen before. And now I can confidently say your love and guidance have catapulted my life into a dream I would’ve never imagined.

I realized that hardest parts of your days were probably everything I didn’t see. Every problem you had to solution for. Every fear you had to overcome. Every cup of spilled milk you had to get over. Every disagreement you had to navigate. Every mistake you had to forgive. Every emotion you had to triumph over. Every hard day you had to show up. And I can’t think of a day that you didn’t.

I now realize that what made it look so simple, is that you never complained. I never thought about what it could take to move from one thing to the next because you never spoke on it. You just did it. And looking back on it all now, I recognize how much of an underrated blessing it is that every day you decided you were going to get it done, no matter what. Keeping your eye on the prize. Not letting your emotions derail you. Staying committed to your responsibilities and delivering on your word. I can’t imagine what it took to take on such large responsibilities at 18 years old, but

I thank you for always being bigger than any excuse.

I thank you for finding a way when it felt like there was no way.

I thank you for sacrificing the gratification of right now for the freedom of our tomorrow.

I thank you for loving my mom through every season.

I thank you for showing me that we’re blessed to bless others.

And I thank you for choosing your hard wisely.

Some days I look at Javaughn in our kitchen and wonder how I got so lucky. How someone could be so relentless in everything that he does. How someone could be so unstoppable when the temptation to quit lives right under our nose. How there isn’t anything anyone can say or do to keep him from what’s his. And I realized I’ve found it all in him because I knew exactly what to look for.

Thank you for doing everything I never saw, so I can have everything I’ve ever wanted.

Happy Father’s Day!

xoxo,

Sleepyhead